Validation

As I write these blog articles at a really very high frequency from what I did earlier, I only cross my fingers and hope it is just not a freshman's enthusiasm and is here to stay. Well, only time will tell.

For my last blog article, I poured out my thoughts on paper and published it with a lot of caution. I was unsure if it was just personal ramble or actually a valid point. Nevertheless, now that I had published and promoted it, it was out in the world to meet it's fate.

One of my friends read through and shared her feedback (without being influenced, let me tell you ;-) ), it was "very well-articulated".

This got me thinking if I do have the flair of writing. Any-hoo! I will keep at it, at least for four more days, till the time the a-to-z blogging challenge is valid. Then let's see how things go forward from there. The feeling is that I will continue writing.

So this brings me to my today's topic - Validation

Human mind needs assurance. A reason why the 'blue ticks' are working. :-P
We are happy with other's joys, concerned with people's grievances, fearful of things which could happen, and angry when our life doesn't go as planned. We are designed to live in harmony. However, what troubles me is when people lose faith in them and look for reassurance.

Looking for this type of validation is like quicksand. Once someone steps into it, he is sucked in for good. Asking folks around for a resonant factor is still okay. The issue rises dangerously when the thin line is crossed.

Seeking validation is a grey path I've tread on. A big big thank you to all my well wishers who called out 'wolf' and did not give up on me!
It starts small with everyday things, small confusions, tiny hook ups then looms large like long shadows. Dependency kicks in, you cannot function without support, and life seems void and sappy.

"Should I use this pencil or that?"
"Is it okay to paint Elsa purple?"
"Did the tea steep enough?"
"Were the spices in the dal okay?"
"Should I take the cab or the auto?"
"Do you think I will be able to carry myself in these heels?"
"Will you please suggest?"
"How do I tackle this client?"

These may look like completely innocent questions but asking such basic questions in a short duration of time, internalising of the replies, and the subconscious intent of such questions are what construct the chakravyuh (labyrinth).

How does one identify and prepare oneself to bloom once again:
(in no particular order)

• Accept that there is such a problem -
  We are allowed to have confusions but not perpetually be confused. Being in a happy state of oblivion that my elders/partner/well wishers/ friends are there to help.
• Observe and determine the intensity at which your lifestyle is affected by these affirmations. 
• Being with the self - popularly known as "having some me-time". One quick tip on finding such harmony within is reading books (try using the dictionary and encyclopedia over Google), water plants or tending a garden, feeling the breeze, letting the sunlight in. 
• Reduced screen time - keeping your phone away while you sleep, fixing a time table to spend time on social media sites (there take away a lot of our time without realisation). 

Once we identify, we have to make ourselves work on it in all sincerity. For the self, for the soul, for You. The world is a really really happy place, believe me and there will be a constant smile on your face!

Working on Myself

This is a period which we forget to go after we become adults. We forget that like a plant or a tree we keep growing if not in height with new branches and leaves. That's that is what we exactly need to do, keep flourishing, going deeper in our foundation and wider in our reach!

• Slow down - be in a space that you are comfortable in
• Be wakeful - involving your body and mind in everything you do. From drinking a glass of water, cooking, idling, communicating, watching the birds make a nest. Just try to keep up-ing your concentration.
• Create your own comfortable space - yes, it is your house you've made it as comfortable as it could be, but which is that corner which is just you, that defines you!
• Give yourself and your needs priority - yes, ONLY YOURSELF. Yes your partner or your parents or your sibling or your children could be in your no. 1 but YOU are then on zero which comes before 1! Make sure that there are no compromises there. The ones who understand this craze of "me first" are the ones who are your people.
• Keep tickling your creative side - what was it that you enjoyed doing when you were 10YO, do you miss it now, make way to do it. Creativity doesn't only mean drawing, sketching, painting and craft. Experiment with your routine cooking with a little mix and match. Chuck the matching shoelaces and go for a contrast. If possible, use a different route to commute to work and back. Try a new sundae mix.

Once I was in this safe space which I created I started wanting to do more, do for others, do for strangers, do for the society. There is this exciting elevation I feel. I started finding time for more! I assure myself, THIS is the space, role, time that we actually belong to.


Breathe! Spread love!

Celebrate yourself!